I want to marry my brother’s widow

May 26, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am in my early 50s. I have never married. But my twin brother was married. Unfortunately, he died. I was living a couple of miles from him and his wife.

My brother and his wife had two children. He was not able to buy a house because the children took away all of it. When he died, his widow became very close to me and I helped her out in every way. He had life insurance and I helped her with that. I never told her that what I was doing for her was because I wanted us to have a relationship. I did not have a girlfriend, neither was I living with a woman. So after work, I would stop at the home and eat dinner. I found myself sleeping over until she invited me to her bed. It was the weirdest thing to kiss my brother's widow. It was even weirder to see her naked. But, it happened. Now we are in love.

Let me get to the point. We want to get married. I told my mother and she is discouraging it. She further said that my brother will wake up from his grave. I would like to hear from you as a pastor, whether it is wrong for my brother's widow and I to get married. Her children call me 'dad' and I love them very much.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

Some people may say that it is not morally right for you to marry your brother's widow. The Bible says that under the law, a man should not go to bed with his brother's wife. However, if the brother is dead and does not have children, the surviving brother should marry her and have children with her in honour of his brother.

That is not what you are talking about. Your brother has children with this woman and you and her are now involved and would like to get married. This matter is not addressed in the Bible. You two are 'locked together'. Therefore, both of you should consider getting married. It would be interesting to hear what others may say.


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