Old flame says I fathered her 15-y-o

January 11, 2023

Dear Pastor,

I'm a 27-year-old man and I am a father of four children. When I was younger, I was with a girl and was having unprotected sex with her.

First, I'd like to admit that I was about 14 or 15 years old. The last time we had sex, I left Jamaica to live abroad. We both knew that she had a boyfriend. She got pregnant and she told me that the child she was carrying was not mine. The child was born when I was 15 years old, but I wasn't in the country. She gave the child to her boyfriend, and now she has discovered that I am the biological father of the child.

I have nothing against the child, but this was nothing that I had planned for because I have started a new family while living abroad. My oldest child here is nine years old. Now I am trying to figure out how I can be a father to this child who is in Jamaica and I have never met. I am willing to try, but I know it won't be easy on me. I am scared and I need help.


Dear O.G.,

How can you be sure that you are the biological father of this child? You said that you were aware that this woman with whom you were having sex had a boyfriend.

And you knew that when she got pregnant, she told you that you were not responsible for getting her pregnant, and the child she was carrying belonged to her boyfriend. Now you are being told that you are the father of this child. Was a DNA test done to ascertain that you are the father? I wish you had made that clear.

I am not questioning whether indeed you are the father, because a boy can father children when he is younger than 15 years old. So I hope the mother of this child is speaking the truth and that she is not saying that she can receive financial help from you. May God forgive me for wondering whether this woman is trying to pull a 'fast one' over you.

If you are very sure that you are the biological father of this child, then it is your responsibility to send her money to help to support the child. You should discuss this matter with your parents, although you are a grown man. You need not be embarrassed, because the time you should have been embarrassed has long passed. I would not encourage you to accept paternity if you are in doubt that the child is yours. However, you should give your support to the child if you are indeed the father. And you should also tell your children about him or her. Whenever you come to Jamaica, make sure that you spend some quality time with the child. Make sure that you do not get sexually involved with the mother of this child while you are in Jamaica. You know that you are a 'hot rod'. But try your very best to behave yourself when you are with this woman. It is said that 'old fire stick easy to catch', but behave yourself and don't get into trouble.


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