Tired of dad cheating on my mom

January 19, 2023

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I am living at home with my two sisters and three brothers. I am the third child for my mother.

My father has two other children, but they are living with their mother. My father and my mother are not living in peace because my father is always going to his other babymother's house, and he does not stop. He told my mother that he should have married that woman because she does not fuss and quarrel with him.

One day, I was not feeling well so I was lying down. I did not go to school. My father came home and was having a shower, and my mother went into the bathroom and asked him where he was going. He said that his friends were coming to pick him up. They were going to watch football. My mother started to curse and called him a liar. She told him that she knew where he was going -- to visit that other woman. My mother said she couldn't take it any more. My father told her that if she would perform her wifely duties, he wouldn't have to run down any other woman. My mother told him that she knew that if she had another man in her life, he would kill her, but if he didn't stop, she was going to shock him.

When my mother realised that I heard what they said, she apologised and started to cry. She told my older sister and me that we should talk to our father. She said she knows when he goes to bed with that woman, because she knows the perfume the woman uses. When he comes home, she can smell it on him. My mother is miserable, but it is my father who has caused her to be that way. I am not taking up for my mother, but after seeing how my father treats her by having different women, I told myself that I don't want to get married. My sister says the same thing.

My father gives my mother money, but when he asked her what she wanted, I heard my mother tell him that she wanted him and not just his money. Do you think we should talk to our father? My sister and I are afraid to do so.


Dear R.S.,

Your father told your mother that she could keep him home by doing her wifely duties. Your mother knows that she is doing her best.

This other woman with whom your father has children would not care if your parents leave each other. She wants him, but perhaps your father has other women. All of these women couldn't be wearing the same perfume. But your father has that special woman, and if he goes to bed with her he does not shower before he comes home.

You are 18 years old and your sister is older. Both of you could talk to your father by telling him that your mother is suffering emotionally because of his conduct and you are afraid that she may have a nervous breakdown. Tell him that you would like to see them get along better. Encourage them to go to see a family counsellor. If he does not curse you or chase you away, you would have done your mother a very big favour. Be careful when you are talking to your father. Do not give the impression that you are rebuking him. He would become very angry.


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