Brother-in-law says I tied my husband

September 21, 2023

Dear Pastor,

This is the second time I am writing to you. I wrote you when I was in my last year of high school and you gave me good advice.

Now I am married and living with my husband. We live in New York, but we are Jamaicans. I am a registered nurse and my husband is in the construction business. He works very hard. Sometimes when he gets home, he is very tired, and he does not have time to do anything much. He sleeps a lot.

I am furthering my studies, but I do need comfort from my husband. I will never cheat on him. I know that he does not have any other woman but me. I can go into his phone at any time and check all his messages. We do not have children. But as soon as I am finished with this additional course that I am doing, I would like to get pregnant. Both of us love New York, but we would rather buy a home in Florida.

My husband is really a yardie; he talks about owning a home in Jamaica and returning to Jamaica when he retires. He has big plans. My plan is to finish the course I am doing, get pregnant and raise two children. Whatever happens after that, we will deal with.

I have a problem. His mother and I get along well, but he has a brother who does not like me. His brother begged my husband to send him some money to buy a car to run taxi. My husband discussed it with me and I told him I was not in favour of that taxi business, so my husband told his brother what I said and he also told him that whatever we make, we put together and save; so I control the money. I did not expect my husband to be so blunt to his brother.

His brother called me and cursed me and said that because of me, his brother's side of the family can't get anything from him, and it seems as if I tied his brother so he is unable to leave me. Pastor, that hurts me. I don't have any reason to tie my husband. Both of us work very hard and we have to protect each other. I complained to his mother and she told me that that brother wants money to buy a car and to run around with women, so I should not allow what he is saying about me to bother me.


Dear D.F.,

Perhaps your mother-in-law is correct. So many young men are begging relatives who live abroad to purchase taxi for them, and they would pay them 'X' amount per week. Many have not kept their side of the bargain. Relatives living abroad have lost a lot of money. You shouldn't allow what is being said about you to upset you. The money that you earn does not belong to any relative. It is you and your husband's money.

I congratulate you for becoming a registered nurse. I am glad that you are still studying. I wish your husband and you well. Take good care of yourselves.


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