Boyfriend’s ex keeping his kids away from him

Dear Pastor,

I am 29 years old and I am living with a 30-year-old man. I have three children and he has two.

He supports me very well. We both attend church. But I have a burning issue. His children's mother does not want to let him go. They broke up more than a year ago and she wants to control him. She insists that he should give her a certain amount of money for the children. She keeps the children away from him, and I know the reason why she does that is because of me. She doesn't want the children around me, and this man loves his children with a passion. He has not seen those children for more than four months, but he ensures that he buys whatever they need. He also ensures that she picks them up.

Sometimes I feel bad to know that my children are always around and he can't see his children. His family members think that I don't want his children around me. Now, we are planning to get married early next year. But I don't know if I can marry this man because of everything that is going on. Please give me your advice.

B.

Dear B.,

Your boyfriend has the right to see his children and to spend time with them.

You say that the mother of the children is keeping them away from him because she doesn't like you. Perhaps she thinks that you have taken him away from her. But this is a grown man. He is 30 years old, and he is old enough to make his own decisions. He wants to be with you. You haven't done anything to her, so she should not be angry with you. I make these comments because of what you have written. I don't know what she would say. I am only responding according to what you have written.

This man can take the matter to court for them to decide how much time per month he should have with his children. He does not have to go to her home and sit there, but he can pick them up and take them out. There shouldn't be any fuss or fight with that. I am glad that he is supporting his children. Please encourage him to continue to do so.

I suspect that the children's mother said some negative things about you to this man's relatives, and that is why they believe that you are preventing him from seeing his children. You know that's not true, so you should encourage him to take the matter to court. You should make sure that he has proof that he supports them, and he would love to have visitor's rights.

Pastor