Dad left my mean brothers out of his will

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 30 and I am married. My husband and I have three children together.

My mother died, but my father is alive. He had three children, me and my two older brothers. They do not support my father. Even if he is ill and I tell them, they do not even send a dollar for him to go to the doctor. They don't care about him.

My father made a will and my brothers found out from the executor that he did not include them in it. I made a mistake by telling my brothers the executor's identity. He is a teacher and a justice of the peace. My brothers called my father and cursed him and told him that when he dies, they will not even attend his funeral. To make matters worse, my father has willed the house to my husband and I. We are the ones who take him everywhere. He does not have insurance and what he has in the bank is not much, so we use our own money and fill his prescriptions. So, he told us that his house would go to us.

Recently, to save money, my husband and I and the children have moved into our parents' home. Dad advised us to do so. We have a nurse who we are paying to take care of him. She is a very good practical nurse. She likes my father, so they get along. She complains that he is miserable, but that is all.

I told my brothers that they should at least try and send a few dollars to help take care of dad. One of them promised to do so. But the other cursed and told me that my husband is a total stranger, yet he and I will inherit the house, so my father will get nothing from him. I told my father that he should change his will and include my brothers, but he says he will not, because they don't deserve to get anything. My brothers and I never had any contention. They used to send money to mom sometimes, but after she died nothing has come in. I can tell you, Pastor, my father never abused them, and he sent all of us to school. But they are always jealous of me because my father openly said that I am his favourite child.

I discussed this problem with the executor of my father's will, but he said he cannot do anything about it. What is in the will is what my father wants to be in it, so I should not stress myself over my brothers' behaviour. I would like to get your suggestion. Should I insist that my father make changes on his will? My husband and I had nothing to do with the making of it. My brothers will feel that we influenced him, but we didn't.

P.M.

Dear P.M.,

Do not try to influence your father or coax him into changing his will. When he made it, he did not ask you nor your husband for your advice.

He was in his right mind when he did so. It is unfortunate that they know what is written in his will and who the executor is. But why should they be upset about what your father has done? They don't behave as if they care about him. They know that their father needs help, and you are doing your very best to help him.

I am glad that your father has encouraged you to come and live at the house. You are blessed to have such a father. He cares about you, and he knows that you care about him. He wants your husband and you to have the house after he has passed. That is the way he is saying thanks for all that you have done.

Your brothers have not shown any love to your father. Continue to do your best for him. Please don't get into any argument with your brothers. I wish you well. Take good care of yourself and your family.

Pastor