I’m 18 but I couldn’t get it up

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 18 and I share room with my sister, but I have my own bed.

My sister told me many times that when I am sleeping, she can see that I have an erection. I am a virgin, but recently I became friendly with a girl who is also 18. We talk about how much we love each other. We went to the birthday party of one of her friends, and this girl was not like me. She told me she has had sex many times, but the guy she has sex with always uses protection. I told her that I had never had sex.

At the party, we were able to slip away to a little room. It is a big house. She told her fried that we would love to spend some time together and the girl gave her a key to one of the rooms. So we had the keys and no one would be able to interrupt us. This girl had to do everything for me. I felt very stupid with her, but the worse thing is that I could not have any erection. She was all ready, but nothing was happening for me, and I felt ashamed because what I was looking forward to didn't happen. So this girl put her clothes back on and told me I should go to the doctor to see if anything has gone wrong with me.

I have not visited the doctor. She promised that we can try again, so I am writing to you to ask you if you believe that something is wrong with me. My sister and I are close, so I asked her if she sees that I am having an erection while I am asleep and she said yes. She asked me why I asked, but I did not tell her. Can you please tell me what you believe went on when I went with this girl? She is so pretty and I was looking forward to having sex with her.

I am hoping to hear from you very soon. I hope nothing is physically wrong with me. Please answer my letter.

F.A.

Dear F.A.,

I should urge you to go and see a doctor, preferably a urologist. It is quite normal for men to have erections while they are asleep.

So what your sister told you about yourself is true. Your big concern is how you could be having erections while you are asleep but when the time came for you to have sex with this young woman, you could not handle it. Perhaps you suffered from anxiety. It played on your mind and caused you not to be able to perform. As anxiety played on your mind, you became embarrassed and felt ashamed of yourself. Your girlfriend had pity on you.

When men go through this type of problem, women laugh at them, but this girl did not laugh at you; she had pity on you and suggested that you go to see the doctor. I am sure that when you go to the urologist, he may assure you that you ought not to fret over the situation, because by fretting, your condition may get worse. It is psychological.

You want to know whether you are having a medical problem. The urologist will be able to give you the answer to that problem. You are only 18 years old. I doubt that your problem is physical. I would love to hear from you again after you have seen the doctor.

Pastor